23 Things I learned at 23

21 was a year of denial and mistakes.

22 started like hell and violently opened my eyes, forcing me to let go of people, places and things I deeply cared about.

23 is about growth.

As the leaves turn orange and the cold wind settles, I feel ready to embrace this new season of me. I owe all this wisdom to the brilliant people surrounding me, especially those I lived with. So I guess this is a thank you to my girlies, for guiding me, watering me and making me bloom. Gosh! I wish my 16-year-old self knew all of that.

1. They always come back.

Whether it’s in a week, a month or a year, those who’ve done you wrong will come back. Even more so if they feel like you are doing better than they are. They’ll want to know if they still have influence over you.

2. Those who broke you won’t fix you.

Love yourself hard enough not to let them come back and ruin you some more. Protect yourself, protect your peace.

3. If they wanted to, they would.

You should never beg, nor clap for the bare minimum. Those who want to be in your life will show it to you countless times. Mixed signals mean no.

4. You will find your people.

Once you figure out what you want in your relationships, the kind of people you want to surround yourself with will become clear. Never try to be someone you’re not to fit in, that’s how you become shallow and will lose sight of yourself. And before wondering if they like you, DO YOU like them?

5. Just because you want something with your whole heart doesn’t mean it’s meant for you.

6. It’s okay to be scared, it means that you’re about to do something really brave.

7. Always trust your guts.

8. Good friends will give you tough love when needed, cheer for your successes and pick you up when everything falls apart.

Those are rare. Don’t mistake fun and loyal.

9. Find the love that you crave in friendships and community.

10. Be grateful for what you have while working for what you want.

You now have things that you once prayed for. So be patient and consistent. Good things take time.

11. Relationships shouldn't be painful.

Or make you feel ashamed of yourself, or give you anxiety.

12. Being private and being secretive are two different things.

13. Nothing grows in a comfort zone.

You need to step out so you have more room to flourish.

14. If you don’t have enough money to buy something twice then you can’t afford it.

15. Your mental health should always be your priority.

No class, job, assignment/exam or relationship is worth losing your sanity for. Do what it takes to protect yourself.

16. Work on yourself, for yourself.

17. Healing isn’t a linear process and it doesn’t make you weak, it makes you human.

18. I love you are powerful, say it with care but also say it often.

19. Nothing in life is granted, shit happens every day so cherish the good things

20. Not everyone around you’s got your best interest at heart.

Be mindful of what you share and to whom.

21. You can’t live a full life on an empty stomach.

And life is too fucking short to count calories.

22. Your direction is more important than your speed.

23. Being vulnerable is a strength.